degradation is great but praise just gets me so so fucking bad like yes please tell me im doing good please tell me im a gorgeous angel tell me im the best kitten on this planet i need it
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Anonymous asked:
youvebeenwarned answered:
That giving tasks to complete while I’m away makes all the difference in the world. It gives them something to think about so they don’t get anxious. It gives us something to talk about when I come home and it gives a reason for me to be proud when said tasks are accomplished. This in turn also boosts their confidence and strengthens the relationship. It’s really great to see how proud of themselves they get. Structure is so incredibly important and this is a simple lesson that really goes a long way.
A PSA: Collars mean a lot and are not to be taken lightly. Do not offer to be collared/offer to collar someone who you are not 100% with.
It will just hurt in the end.
Anonymous asked:
daddysdlg answered:
Hey, great question! I guess this might not be obvious to anyone new to the world of BDSM - so let’s explore for a moment!
Subdrop is a state of depression and moodiness that often occurs after a BDSM playtime/scene or where the submissive is away from their dominant for an extended period of time. Subdrop can happen quickly or it may not manifest itself for several days after the scene. It may also appear as the result of being away from a relationship where feelings of love and submission are particularly strong.
Longing for a lover that you miss is familiar to everyone, even within the vanilla world, but in the world of BDSM, it can be so much worse. This is because prolactin and cortisol levels may become quite elevated as a result of endorphin, oxytocin, and dopamine releases that often occur within the context of BDSM practices and relationships (Recommended Googling: The Science Behind BDSM).
The amazing highs are worth the occasional lows and with a loving/attentive dominant, you can ease the drop if you know how to mitigate the causes of those intense emotions {with solid aftercare: lots of affection/attention and proper replenishment}. 💞x
Because brain chemistry matters!
My two cents:
The brain is in a fragile, pliable state when being inundated with neurotransmitters. Great for sex in general. Really great for sub training. Really, REALLY great for subspace.
Subspace is the ideal destination, but it IS a fragile brain state. This is why aftercare is so necessary. The brain will try and return to its “normal” state. But it often over compensates with wild swings of chemicals to get the job done. (Read here subdrop) Aftercare helps the brain return to its “normal” with a lot less wild swings.
Learn your sub’s brain, not just their mind and body. Provide the aftercare that best returns the brain to “normal.” Be prepared with the obvious stuff like rehydration (water and electrolytes), simple to digest foods to restore glucose, and basic body soothers (warmth, returning full blood flow to restrained joints, soothing marks to skin, etc).
Always be aware of that brain fragility because life happens. If “life” interrupts subspace your gut should be screaming “DANGER WILL ROBINSON. DANGER.” The same goes for aftercare being interrupted.
Leaving a sub in a fragile brain state is dangerous. To the brain, it mimics trauma, abandonment, and threat. Worse, the body is usually in a spent state, so the brain can’t really respond to these. Now throw in the dependent, submissive mindset and VIOLA! you have a serious problem.
im thirsty af for
a healthy relationship with a significant other in which we both love and support each other and genuinely enjoy being in each others company
